ED's WORDs: UGLY BUTTS

Everyone has something that gets them mad; something that “tees me off". Do you know what “gets my goat” every time – besides Obama winning the election? What gets me really riled are: Ugly Butts!

That’s right – Ugly Butts!

Now, for all you perverts, for all you deviates, and for you body-beautifuls – RELAX! I am not focusing on the buttocks – I’m talking about cigarette butts!

OK, and for you smokers reading this, you can relax too! This is not about smoking; I’m not going to bash smokers, per se; nor am I going to preach on the merits of quitting that filthy habit – I am better than that (ha)!

But, I am going to talk about littering – that is specifically the littering / discarding of smoking paraphernalia.

And as a disclaimer, the smokers that are reading this will also agree with me on this issue because you are responsible and considerate individuals who would not pollute. This I know!

But I am addressing the other 99.99 percent of the smoking population whom exhibit a totally alien notion regarding what constitutes “littering".

Most smokers litter to some extent, as I will present to you. But what is most revealing is that as many, perhaps even more, non-smokers do not consider the smokers’ littering habits as harmful, if not explicitly illegal. Specifically, I’m addressing smokers who discard the remnants of their smoking habit anywhere and everywhere except in a proper designated trash receptacle.

So what is my beef all about?

For illustration purposes, let’s visualize someone opening a brand new pack of cigarettes. Everything appears to be quite innocent and harmless with his process but there are a few steps or obstacles to overcome when opening a pack of cigarettes. For starters, there is the cellophane wrapper that must be removed. No biggie – just pull on the little colored tab and there you have it – instant access!

But wait! What is one to do with that piece of cellophane wrapper? There may not be a trash receptacle nearby and one certainly would not consider putting what is now designated as “trash” in ones pocket, so just let it go! It’s almost totally translucent so it will just disappear and besides, no one will notice. What harm will a small piece of cellophane matter do so just drop it to the ground?

Look, did you see it? It just disappeared just like magic! Oh well, what’s one little piece of cellophane to this great, big, wide world?

But wait, another obstacle to surmount while opening this cigarette pack. Why it’s a piece of aluminum-coated paper that also must be removed and discarded immediately. However, this piece of aluminum-coated paper presents more of a disposal problem than the clear cellophane paper because this paper is definitely visible and there is no way one can nonchalantly drop this paper to the ground with out being noticed. Why, others will know that one litters; they can point to and identify the evidence; it’s just not fair; there are laws against littering but one cannot be expected to put what is now designated as “trash” in ones pocket – right?

But wait! Perhaps if one crumbles this piece of aluminum-coated paper into a tiny, tight ball then it would be hard to be detected by those Green Peace police and then it would be OK to litter.

Look, did you see it? It just disappeared just like magic! Oh well, what’s one little piece of aluminum-coated paper to this great, big, wide world?

Finally we get to the main target of my focus – the much maligned cigarette! Great, and at this juncture the cigarette pack is open thus no additional opportunity to litter – right? Wrong!

Let’s not overlook the need to light this thing. What good is a cigarette if one cannot smoke it?

Visualize again, this time lighting the cigarette with a paper match and now facing the decision of what to do with that spent match. Well certainly a match of any construction cannot be considered to be litter – right? Why, one could just let the match burn itself out of existence – OUCH! Hey, where did it go?

Look, did you see it? It disappeared just like magic! Oh well, what’s one little match stick to this great, big, wide world?

As promised earlier, I will not discuss the perils of smoking so I’ll also avoid the issues of second-hand smoke and the resultant air pollution

or the subject of where cigarette ash ends up, especially if one is down-wind from a smoker. I’ll keep my promise because I am better than that (ha)!

So now let’s jump to the main point – Ugly Butts!

We have all noticed that those ugly butts are everywhere! When outdoors, observe where the cigarette butt goes when the smoke is done. The butt goes almost anywhere but in a proper receptacle. And IF an ashtray is used (perhaps a car ashtray), guess where the ashtray gets dumped when full of butts? You got it, usually on the roadside by a stop sign / traffic signal. You’ve seen those small piles of dead-butts by the curb; you know what I’m talking about!

Even at night-time there is visual evidence of butt-burrowing; when driving down a road you’ve all seen cigarettes flying out from car windows when a lit cigarette gets ejected. I must admit that they do put on an impressive light show with sparks flying in the wind; kind of like a fireworks display!

So now I challenge you. Next time you’re outside and you observe smokers reluctantly complying to State and Federal “No Smoking Indoors” laws, just watch where their cigarette butts are discarded.

Look, did you see it? It disappeared just like magic! Oh well, what’s one little cigarette butt to this great, big, wide world?

Besides, after awhile those cigarettes butts disappear out of sight, don’t they? Out of sight, no problems!

But hey, what’s the heck. What’s the beef? All of this is not really littering - right? Why it’s not even comparable to throwing-out soda or beer cans or bags of trash and garbage or things like that. Hey, everyone that smokes does it – don’t they?

Well, if you follow that logic; if you accept the notion that none of the above constitutes littering; if you think that there is no harm with the improper discarding of cellophane and paper wrappers or matches or cigarette butts….

If you really believe that none of the habits described above equate to littering and does no harm to this great, big, wide world – if you really believe that…