But what is it exactly that we are wishing for?
Many years ago I challenged a few colleagues to complete the following statement: "I Will Be Happy When....". The responses were as varied as were the individuals and as you may have expected, each person identified an event or situation of future occurrence at which its fruition would make them happy. As I recall, five of the responses were: "To set goals and to reach them"; "When my teenage son leaves home"; "When the world becomes a safe place"; "When I find a job that makes me happy"; and "When life comes with a handbook"
If the same topic were posed to you, how would you have responded? For a moment, reflect upon your first thought when pondering "I will be happy when...?
Perhaps you would have responded with "I will be happy when I get that raise" or maybe "a new job" or "when you retire". For others happiness may be "when one gets engaged or married". How about "When one has children or when the children have grown and moved out"- you know, the Empty Nest Syndrome! Maybe inheriting a huge sum of money or even when your car or house is finally paid off, or when you become debt free. Then again, perhaps you'll be happy when you finally lose that extra weight that you have been carrying around for a few decades or maybe when you gain some weight, get a new wardrobe, and on and on, the beat goes on!
Did you arrive with any of those scenarios or did you have something more original. What was your answer? When will you finally be happy?
Did you notice the one common theme to all of the first five responses? Given every circumstance, the criteria for being happy was fully dependent upon a future occurrence. Not one person operated under the premise of one already being happy! Could it have been that none of them were happy then? I think not. When you were posed with the same question, did you consider the prospect that you are already at that "happy state" and not anticipating some future expectation to be happy? Was this question a trap or perhaps were the answers (yours included) a reflection of one's individual mindset?
Friends, we must learn to enjoy the journey because we may never reach that destination! Happiness should be in the "now" and not in some obscure futuristic promise. Remember that our next breath is not promised us but each is a gift from God. The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now!
How many times in the past did we indicate that we would be happy if or when a certain condition was met. How many New Year's resolutions have we forsaken? Is not our current station in life the result of meeting or exceeding obstacles that were placed before us in the past? Perhaps for many of those earlier conditions we may have stated that we would be happy when....! Are you not happy now? Is this discussion making you sad (ha)!
Maybe we are confused with the premise of what constitutes happiness. Are we risking our happiness based upon a temporary circumstance? Are you as happy now as you want to be, or can be? I surmise that we should all be happy now else we would not be where we are with our lives. Are we living the dream or dreaming to live?
So, where am I going with this? Try this: If your life were to end right now, this very moment, would you leave us with a smile or with a frown on your face? If you answered that you would be wearing an eternal smile then I contend that you understand what true happiness is and that you have arrived! Otherwise, if not a smile you wore then you left us before you discovered how to achieve eternal happiness.
Eternal happiness - WOW - there is a concept to grasp. Actually, eternal happiness is not a concept but a reality and many people achieve it right here on earth rather than waiting until they depart this world. You see, waiting to achieve happiness until you leave this world is once again, as before, waiting for some future event or occurrence to happen.
What is as interesting to me is that one can tell who lives now with this eternal happiness simply by observing those around them. Their secret to this happiness is that they have based their worldly happiness on non-worldly goals. In other words, their happiness is measured by what they already have which, in turn, guarantees them happiness in the future. In possession of this guaranteed happiness, who wouldn't walk around with a perpetual smile on a person that emanates peace, confidence and satisfaction. Life, for them, is great as always!
Maybe what is being suggested here is a change in attitude. We should recognize and cherish the blessings that we have today because tomorrow may never be.
With this in mind, let's go back to those original five responses and review them in the present context. The "Goal Maker" has already accomplished many goals in the past so what will more goals get that he/she doesn't already have; The parent of the teenager will not rejoice but rather will lament the loss of her child; If one fears the outside world then start by looking to your inner-world for love and security; While a job can provide financial security remember the age-old adage - one cannot buy happiness; and finally, for the one waiting for the handbook on life to he written - go write it yourself because you are living it!
If we want to know what happiness is we must seek it, not as if it were a part of gold at the end of the rainbow, but among human beings who are living richly and fully the good life. If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double Dahlias in his garden. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar gold button that has rolled under the cupboard in his bed room. He will have become aware that he is happy in the course of living 24 crowded hours of the day. W. Beran Wolfe
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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